Maintaining Change

August 29th, 2010

One of our fighters recently gave me a great idea for a blog.  She mentioned that she is at this point in her life/training where she has accomplished her goals and now isn’t sure what to do next.  Does she set more, new goals? What is the next step? This is a great topic that seldom gets the amount of attention that goal setting itself does. Everyone always wants to know how to set and achieve goals, but what do we do after we have accomplished what we set out to do?

Many times goal achievement will push us to new limits and we can continue to set new goals that move us to test our new self. We will set goals to run fast, run farther, lift heavier, fight nationally, get a new job, or change relationships.  New change can be prompted my our goal achievement.  Yet sometimes what to do next isn’t so obvious.  This time period following the achievement of your goal can be a crucial time that needs a lot of your attention.

This is where maintaining the change you made comes in.  And although actually achieving the goal you set may have seemed like quite a challenging task, maintaining the change that results isn’t always easy either.  This is the time where we can very quickly slip back into old habits, patterns, routines.  We are not as attentive and hyper-focused on a goal so we begin to unconsciously let things “slide”.  We might feel ourselves become complacent or less driven.  It is crucial that we pay attention and recognize our actions, thoughts and feelings during this time.

It’s not always productive after achieving a goal to immediately set another one.  Sometimes we need time to let the change we have made settle in and become part of us, our thoughts, our life.  We must absorb what we have accomplished and learn to live as this new person.  We must continue to stay focused on what got us this success and continue to do those things despite not having a hard and fast goal set.  We have to be aware that “relapse” can occur and being attune to our thoughts, feelings and actions is key to preventing us from moving backwards.

As with any change in life, big or small, there will be bumps in the road, relapses, slips etc.  Our minds want us to maintain a comfortable homeostasis (this lovely balance where we feel comfortable and safe).  The problem with this comfortable place is that is where all of our old habits that do not serve us live.  So as we work on maintaining our change we must remember our mind’s desire for homeostasis can lead us to relapse.  We must re-focus on what motivates and drives us.  We must remember this path isn’t easy, yet extremely rewarding.  We need to trust that the change we made was for the better and we must have faith in our ability to maintain it.  Change is gradual, it is a journey…so during this maintenance period remember there is no rush to do something bigger, take some time to get familiar with the new and improved you.

During the maintenance stage of change, remember the importance and the impact of your words.  Continue feeding yourself positive reinforcement and encouragement.  Surround yourself with people that are in your corner and support the new you, it is very easy during this stage to get “sucked” back into old unhealthy relationships.  Remember why you choose to make the change you did and achieve the goal you set out to achieve…this will give you the underlying purpose, motivation and drive to maintain the change and move forward in all areas of your life.  This stage isn’t always smooth sailing…during stressful or high pressure times you may feel the urge to revert back to old behaviors, this is where the challenge of this stage comes in…stay focused, get support and trust the new you.

Maintaining change is the true key to long term success.  Once you achieve a goal, don’t let the gains slip through your fingers, continue to do the work you need to do to sustain the benefits of your success.  There will be setbacks and there will be times that feel too easy, the key is to be aware of your thoughts, feelings and actions so you can stay on track.  Whether your goal was to get in the ring and fight, lose weight, get a new job, or change a relationship, remember achieving that goal is just one stage of the whole change process.  There are five stages of change and do not neglect the important work to be done during stage 5: maintenance.

Here is a snippet from a website on stages of change:

“Maintenance involves being able to successfully avoid any temptations to return to the bad habit. The goal of the maintenance stage is to maintain the new status quo. People in this stage tend to remind themselves of how much progress they have made. People in maintenance constantly reformulate the rules of their lives and are acquiring new skills to deal with life and avoid relapse. They are able to anticipate the situations in which a relapse could occur and prepare coping strategies in advance.

They remain aware that what they are striving for is personally worthwhile and meaningful. They are patient with themselves and recognize that it often takes a while to let go of old behavior patterns and practice new ones until they are second nature to them. Even though they may have thoughts of returning to their old bad habits, they resist the temptation and stay on track.

As you progress through your own stages of change, it can be helpful to re-evaluate your progress in moving up and down through these stages. (Even in the course of one day, you may go through several different stages of change). And remember: it is normal and natural to regress, to attain one stage only to fall back to a previous stage. This is just a normal part of making changes in your behavior.”

So remember to give yourself credit for what you have accomplished and begin working on maintaining the gains from your hard work.  Don’t be lured into the mind’s desire for homeostasis or the need to keep the pressure on by setting a new goal too quickly.  It is important to let the change sink in! Self-sabotage during the maintenance stage of change can be easy.  Stay focused, keep your support circle near and remain aware of the meaning behind change you created!

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Believing in your Coach!

August 23rd, 2010

Believing in your coach is essential to your success as a fighter.   If you aren’t a fighter, but instead a recreational boxer this still applies.  And if you don’t box, but have a life coach or mentor this applies too!

Just as a child must believe in and trust their parent for healthy physical/emotional/mental growth and development, a fighter must believe in and trust their coach for successful physical/emotional/mental growth and development as a boxer.  Children depend on their parents and fighters depend on their coaches.  These close knit relationships allow the child or fighter to build confidence, skill, strength, and more.

When a child or fighter does not believe in their parent or coach, doubt, confusion, and uncertainty are created.  All of which can lead to poor performance on the part of the fighter and poor decision making, etc on the part of the child.  Just like a parent is the stable person a child can always go to, a coach is the rock that the fighter needs to rely on.

When you find a coach you believe in, you find support, opportunity for growth, success and truth.  You will have an honest, open relationship that you can lean on for encouragement, strength and much more.  Your coach believes in you and this gives you more fuel to believe in yourself.  If you doubt your coach, you will begin to doubt yourself and your abilities.  Not every coach is for everyone, which is why you must figure out what type of coach and coaching philosophy best fits you.  Once you find a good fit, you can develop a relationship that is based on trust and faith.  You can take risks because you know you have support and as a result you will see more success in your life and in the ring.

Once a fighter stops believing in their coach and their coaches ability to get them where they want to be, a coach can no longer help that fighter achieve success.

Click here to see an article on the qualities that make a good coach.

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Why getting what you want isn’t easy!

August 16th, 2010

Everyone always has an idea of what they want in their lives and particularly what they want to be different than what currently is. Whether you want to lose weight, get a new job, buy a house, start a new hobby, or earn more money the path to get there is never easy.  This is typically because the path to getting what we want is usually uncomfortable.

A couple weeks ago I was talking with one of our fighters about why people don’t train, exercise, or workout.  This fighter who is in excellent shape and trains hard was telling me his co-workers are constantly asking him what they need to do to lose weight, etc.  He explained to me that he use to give their questions his time and attention.  He use to give them thoughtful, knowledge based answers, he would encourage them to train at his gym and give them advice.  This became a fruitless act and conversation.  No one ever took his advice, came to his gym to train or did anything different than they were already doing.  He decided not to waste his energy trying to help.  Now when he gets the questions about training, losing weight, etc he says, “run farther, lift heavier, eat less junk!”.  End of story…simply put that’s what it takes.  It’s not rocket science! Do what you probably don’t want to do to get what you want.  You are going to have to run farther, lift heavier and stop eating junk.  This is common sense!

As a fellow fighter who trains hard, he and I both realized what we do isn’t comfortable or the norm.  Most people do not want to feel discomfort.  They want things to be pleasurable, easy, and they want instant gratification.  Now this is absolutely not a criticism towards anyone, it simply seems to be the reality.  And though I am okay with training hard and getting uncomfortable when it comes to that area of my life, I am sure there are areas where I move towards comfort more.

So to sum it all up this fighter said to me, “It’s comes down to this Jess, people want two things.  They want to avoid pain and pursue pleasure!”. And this is so true.  This is what we do to stay safe and comfortable.  We don’t want to experience pain and we desire pleasure.  This is normal, it’s human nature, yet unfortunately it won’t get you want you want.  And it is why getting what you want isn’t easy.  You must be willing to temporarily forgo pleasure and lean into pain (discomfort) to really get what you want.  Though the path to getting what you want means you must get uncomfortable, the pay off in the end is you will gain more pleasure than you thought possible.

So to those of you that want something in your life that you don’t currently have, please remember this…you gotta flip the avoiding pain, pursuing pleasure mentality upside down.  You must do things you probably don’t want to do.  You must let go of instant pleasure for future gain and happiness.  The path to getting what you want might not be easy but it is rewarding!  In all endeavors in life…you just do more, get real with yourself, stop making excuses, take risks and postpone comfort to succeed!

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Having an Open Mind

August 9th, 2010

To improve, grow, progress you must be open minded.  You must be willing to learn from those around you.  You must be willing to be wrong.  You must be willing to take direction.  You must learn to be okay with challenging what you think is truth.  You must be a student.  You must gain insight and knowledge from others.  You must be willing to trust others & yourself.  You must be willing to respect the ideas of others.  You must be willing to open your mind to new ideas.

If you want to achieve your goals and fulfill your potential you cannot be defensive.  You cannot be attached to being right.  You cannot fear making a mistake or being wrong.  You cannot act as a “know it all”.  You cannot live to prove others wrong, to make yourself right.  You cannot always be in charge.  You cannot disrespect those trying to lead, teach, or help you.

In and out of the ring, if you want to be the person you know you can be you must be open minded.  The “if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it” mentality will keep you and your future small and limited.  Fighters and coaches a like must be willing to learn, grow, and change.  ”If you are not changing, you are dying!”  This statement is true in business, life and fighting.  Having an open mind and taking in what others have to offer can propel you forward.  At the end of the day, absolutely no one knows everything, but everyone knows something.  I am firm believer in the idea of “taking what you need and leaving the rest”…the key here is to be open minded to learn something from each person and interaction you experience.

In boxing there are fighters and coaches (as well as a variety of other players).  The coach-fighter relationship is an intimate and important one.  Coaches have a significant impact on their fighter both physically through training and mentally through their words and actions.  Coaches are in an extremely influential role and this role must be taken seriously and respected.  As a fighter you trust your coach 100%, over time while you build your relationship you grow this trust and connection.  If a fighter thinks he knows more than his or her coach or has doubts about his coaches ability, this can disrupt the relationship and the fighter’s performance in the ring.  This is one reason why coaches have such an important role, they can make or break a fighter.

Fighters must be willing to learn from their coach.  And while a coach is in an authoritarian type role, a coach is always learning from his fighters.  There is respect, trust and belief in this relationship.  None of which would be there without the willingness of each person to be open minded and communicate effectively and respectfully.

In all endeavors in life, for one to be succesful you must keep an open mind.  You must be willing to learn from others on your path to success.  Don’t discount or disrespect those around you.  We are here to learn from each other and fulfill our potential.  Being open minded allows your life, world, and vision to expand, being close minded keeps you and you world small and confined.  It may be challenging at times to admit you were wrong, it may be difficult to believe in a new way to doing things, it may be a struggle to let go of being right, but in the end allowing others to have an impact on you will make you successful.  Remember being open minded does not mean discount all of your own beliefs or ways of thinking, it simply means be willing to examine and learn.  It means to add to what you know.  It means having conversations about differing opinions and respecting others and yourself.  Keep an open mind and success is sure to follow!

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Why Your Workouts Don’t Work

August 1st, 2010

I hate to see it, but I see it so often…people getting excited to starting training and then quickly giving up!  The most common reasons people stop training so quickly are lack of time and not seeing results as quickly as they would like.  As a coach and trainer it is disheartening to see clients give up so quickly.  Training and change are journeys, they take time, energy, hard work and patience.  You must invest in what you want to get it.

I find time and time again people give up way too quickly on goals they set out to achieve.  There are numerous reasons why this happens.  The number one factor, I believe, that will result in your workouts not working is LACK OF PURPOSE!  When you approach working out without a purpose the likelihood of you giving up and/or not seeing results is inevitable.  To see results and build intrinsic motivation to keep you working on days you don’t want to take on an athlete’s mentality and train with a purpose.  Athletes train for sport, competition and success/winning.  The secondary gains they enjoy are strength, healthy body weight/shape, and much more. Athletes don’t train to simply lose weight or get in shape, that is a bi-product of training with a purpose.

Along with training without a purpose, here are some other reasons why your workouts are working:

  • All Quantity, No Quality:  Focusing on how much time you put into your training vs. the quality of training is a big mistake.  Some training sessions may be very intense and only last 20 minutes, while training at a moderate intensity for 30 plus minutes may log more time but not be as effective.  Too many times I see people “working out” by jogging on a treadmill, with minimal exertion and actually reading a magazine…how to your run and read?! Pay close attention to the quality of your training sessions.  Not every training session needs to be high intensity, but every training session must be purposeful and focused.  Have a plan and stick to it.  Give your all in every training sessions.  Stop focusing on how much time you spend in the gym and start focusing on how you are spending your training time.
  • Overestimating Your Exercise:  People tend to believe they are training harder or logging more time then they are.  Be careful not to overestimate what you are actually doing.  This is where honesty, accountability and tracking come in.  Start logging your training sessions.  Either it’s cardio, strength training or conditioning, if you keep a detailed diary/log of your training you can see what works, what doesn’t, where you need to step it up, and where you need to bring it down a notch.
  • Underestimating Your Eating:  The hidden secret to effective training and weight loss, gain, or maintenance…nutrition and tracking! Most people “think” they eat healthy and “think” they eat an appropriate number of calories to reach their goal…and most people are WRONG!  Most of us are in food denial.  I have yet to work with some that hasn’t had an “ah ha” moment when they took the time to track their food daily. I never want you to restrict and diet, I don’t believe in dieting or punishing yourself for eating, what I do believe in is awareness.  Commit to tracking your daily food intake for a week and see the reality of your nutrition.  Where can you make adjustments that you can live with? Start getting real with yourself about FOOD!
  • Doing the Wrong Type of Workout:  Many people do workouts they don’t understand at all.  This is where hiring a trainer or coach comes in.  Working with someone that can listen to your purpose and goals and guide you on an effective training path is key to success.  Not everyone gets the same results from the same workouts and not everyone needs to train the same way.  Working with a trainer/coach you trust can help you get focused, set realistic goals and get on a program that works for you.
  • Never Changing Your Workout:  Our bodies are amazing creations…they adapt to things very quickly.  If you find a type of training you love, stick with it, but be ware that you don’t get stuck doing the same thing all the time. Never changing your workouts leads to plateaus, injury, boredom and lack of results.  Athletes know the importance of cross training and periodically making adjustments to their training programs. Be sure to keep things fresh, plan cross training in your program and mix things up!
  • Using Incorrect Form or Technique:  You want to get stronger or build muscle right? Yeah.  So you lift weights…But are you using proper technique? I hope so! Whether it is weight lifting or sport specific skills training be sure to use the proper technique/form.  If you want to reap the benefits of your training you must use proper technique.  Work the muscles effectively and in a manner that prevents injury. Performing exercises with the proper technique is the only way to get out of your training what you strive for.
  • Setting Unrealistic Goals:  Time to be real with yourself.  How much time are you willing to invest in your training?  The answer to that question will dictate what you can expect to get out of it.  How disciplined are you willing to be? Are you willing to track your food and exercise?  Are you willing to experience discomfort?  The answer to all of these questions will reveal what you can realistically get out of your training. You can’t expect to be Michael Jordan, Lance Armstrong, Manny Pacquiao if you aren’t willing and able to put in what they do.  Just because you play basketball, ride a bike or participate in boxing workouts doesn’t mean you will get what MJ, Lance and Pac-Man get from training.  You have to be realistic about your willingness, ability, time, genetics, discipline, etc to set realistic goals.  This doesn’t mean you cannot achieve what you dream of, you simply must get real with yourself and get to work!  Start where you are at and create a plan that is paced realistically.
  • Measuring the Wrong Results:  Results are not always seen on the scale.  Measuring body weight is not always the best gauge of results.  Be sure to measure things you have control over and can work towards such as, distances ran, weight lifted, heart rate training improvements, etc.  Many times the changes we experience are first unseen such as overall increase feelings of well being, lowered cholesterol or blood pressure, and ease in daily activities.  You must focus on on those results that you can measure and give yourself credit for daily.  Those daily steps forward (however small) help feed the intrinsic motivation that keeps us moving with purpose!

Like I always say stop working out and start training! Develop an athlete’s mentality and train with a purpose to reap the secondary gains.  Set a goal that is beyond weight loss or getting in shape…discover why you want those things and that can propel you forward.  Get support in the form or family, friends, or a coach/trainer.  Start tracking your training and food intake to stay accountable and honest.  Give yourself credit daily for all the small steps you take towards your goal.  Take time to evaluate if any of the above reasons are why your workouts aren’t working!  Don’t give up too quickly…keep moving forward towards your goal!

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Practice & Autopilot

July 26th, 2010

Being successful at any endeavor in life or sport involves dedication, desire, will, action, trust, discipline and much more.  We also must never forget the importance of practice! All of those qualities must give us the intrinsic motivation to practice our task, skill, sport, art, etc on a daily basis.  We cannot expect success if we do not put in the hours of practice necessary for mastery!

Remember when you were learning to drive a car…you had to think about each action it took to be a driver.  You had hypervigilance, heighten alertness and extreme attention to detail.  You had to think about checking your blind spot, when to brake and accelerate, etc.  After logging hours of practice on the road, each specific task involved in driving become effortless…you are on autopilot!

The same is true for all endeavors in and out of the ring.  When you first start boxing, you pay attention to every detail.  How to hold your hands, proper punching technique, footwork, etc.  When you begin sparring you initially don’t feel comfortable, you again are hyper attentive and vigilant.  You may feel overwhelmed.  Your attention is on each and every task.  As you log hours in the ring, the same that happens with driving happens with fighting…you go on autopilot.

Automation is a key to being successful at any task, sport, etc.  You must practice and practice so that the skills become automatic.  You must practice and prepare so that you can trust yourself and your training.  Autopilot allows you to perform your task proficiently and gives you the opportunity to give attention to the unique challenges of competition.  If you enter the ring for competition and you have not practiced your craft, you will be too worried about technical details to perform to the demands of competition.  You must practice and you must trust your training! Let your instincts kick in!

Yes it is important to have a plan of attack, yes it is important to have strategy, but do not forget that if you have practiced and prepared well trusting yourself, your training and your instincts can lead you to success.  Competition is time to perform, put your training to the test, show off what you have been working towards.  Take that opportunity to simply do your job and focus on the new challenges of being on stage.

All of this applies outside of the ring too! Maybe you are preparing for a presentation at work, you must practice.  And when it is show time, trust what you know and have practiced and let your instincts do the rest.  Worrying about small details before competition, a presentation, etc will only lead to more anxiety and a potentially not  very stellar performance.  So let you body and mind go on autopilot, do your thing, get the job done and trust your instincts!

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Training Your Mind for Battle

July 19th, 2010

In all pursuits in and out of the ring to achieve success you must act as if you are in control, confident and prepared even if you are not.  Being in control, confident and prepared are mindsets that must be trained. While preparing is a matter investing time in daily practice of your game, task or pursuit, you must trust that you have prepared yourself fully in order to perform well.

As fighters when we spar, we must not only think of this as time to practice for the physical aspects of our sport, but also the mental piece of battle.  While much of our sparring work is done with what we consider teammates and friends, we cannot let that get in the way of the job we are trying to master.  Boxing is a game of respect, dominance and aggression.  It is a sport of skill, control and the mind.  So when we spar, which is the most realistic practice we get to prepare for an actual bout, we must remember that this is time to prepare our mind for battle.  You and your sparring partner must realize this and respect that this is a time to put your mental game into practice.  If we spar and worry about hurting our sparring partner, we are too concerned with being nice or don’t take it seriously enough we will not be ready for battle.

Their is a difference between sparring with control and going through the motions.  You must remember this is not an actual contest yet it is serious practice.  You must practice getting respect and taking respect.  You must practice dominating the ring.  You must practice owning the ring and taking control of the game.  You must learn to take yourself seriously and get your mind in the winning mentality.  Champions find a way to win and sparring is the place where you can practice this.

Obviously sparring is not a place to put on a show, showboat or be cocky, but it is a place to train your mind to take charge.  If you cannot command the ring and fight your fight in sparring you will not be able to do so in your contest.  Every time I get in the ring I focus on getting the job done.  I will not allow myself to be embarrassed or overwhelmed.  I may not always have great sparring sessions but no matter what my mind is training for battle and sparring is my dress rehearsal.

If your head isn’t right, it will significantly effect your game.  Not every fighter or sparring partner is going to give up easy, or let you take their respect, but that doesn’t matter you never stop working at getting the respect and dominating the fight.  Some fights will be easy while others will be a challenge.  This can largely depends on our opponents mindset.  If they have come with the mindset that this is their fight and won’t give into your dominance it is going to be a battle.  And no matter what your opponent brings in the ring physically and mentally it is your job to stay in control, dominate and get the respect.  You may not always win but be sure you never feel embarrassed.  Be sure that you fought a good fight, that you trained yourself mentally to go out and fight for what is yours.

Remember fighting is serious business.  Sparring is serious work.  It is also a lot of fun! Sparring whether it be light, more technique sparring or intense competition sparring is a time for you as a fighter to get your head right and in the fight game. Practice owning the ring, controlling the fight and dominating.  Don’t go through the motions or you will pay in battle. Remember when you are gloved up and standing across the ring from your sparring partner you both are their to work, its not personal, its your job in that moment.  It does neither of you any good to “half ass it” or handle each other with “kid’s gloves”. You are both fighters and you are training to win.  Make the best use out of this essential time as you can.  Training your mind for battle is done each time you step in the gym, at each training session and especially in every sparring session.  Sparring gives you the opportunity to try new things, learn to trust your training and instincts, and train your mind for battle.  So have fun, yet be sure to get good work in!

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The power of persistence

July 11th, 2010

“When I thought I couldn’t go on, I forced myself to keep going. My success is based on persistence, not luck.” – Estee Lauder.

This quote really resonated with me this week.  I see it in action all the time in the ring.  The ability to keep going, keep fighting despite of you feel, frustration, fatigue, previous loss and obstacles in the way.  Persistence is an essential part of success and building mental and physical strength.  When things get hard and we want to quit, but we keep going…that’s what makes us fighters.

You don’t ever have to step in the ring to be a fighter.  Most of us have or do fight for something during our lives.  Whether it be for a job, freedom, independence, a dream, to overcome illness or achieve our fullest potential when we are persistent the sky is the limit.  When we are fighting, sometimes we want to quit, our threshold for what we can endure seems to be at its max, but persistence is powerful it keeps us in motion in spite of all that.

This weekend one of our new fighters was sparring and from the outside of the ropes I was excited to watching her persistence. She is a very talented, athletic, strong, and tough women.  Though she is new to boxing she is a quick study and progresses each time she steps in the ring.  Her potential is great and it is a pleasure to see her grow as a fighter!  She possesses both the physical and mental toughness necessary for a good fighter and this weekend’s sparring session seemed to be a milestone for her.  It was an opportunity to challenge her will and display her fight!

Those of you who have ever sparred know that you have good days and bad days.  There are sparring sessions when you feel like you are on top of your game and those that test you.  Sometimes you can experience very high frustration levels when things just don’t come together as you want them to.  You know what to do, what you are doing wrong, etc. but for some reason its just not working.  There are two things a fighter can do in this situation: persist and fight or quit! The truth is fighters never quit! So what did our girl do in the midst of her frustration? Took some deep breaths, refocused and kept on going….she fought! This is huge! She didn’t let her frustration get the best of her.   This shows her, her coach and her team that when things get tough, she can and will keep going! She has fight!

There are no excuses in the fight game or life for that matter.  If you aren’t persistent, if you don’t have that inner strength to overcome, you won’t! And if you don’t have it you better work on getting it by testing yourself and overcoming.  Giving into your mind’s false self-limiting beliefs will keep you small and far away from your potential.  To be a fighter in and out of the ring you must push excuses aside, handle your frustrations and keep going.  It is easier to buckle under pressure in the moment than to “suck it up and keep going”, yet sadly it is harder on one’s self in the end to know that an excuse (you, yourself) stood in your own way and gave up.

None of this is “easy” or comfortable.  Growing, building your toughness, achieving your full potential are all challenging, but if you desire to be your best you must endure.  We must go through the struggle to make progress. The power of persistence will make you successful! So don’t let obstacles, excuses, self-limiting beliefs, etc get in your way.  Do what our fighter did…take a deep breath and keep going even when you think you can’t! It is a proud moment to see one of our fighter’s grow and test themselves…seeing someone right before your very eyes embrace the power of persistence and fight is amazing!

Nothing in the world can take the place of Persistence. Talent will not; nothing is more common than unsuccessful men with talent. Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb. Education will not; the world is full of educated derelicts. Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent. The slogan “Press On” has solved and always will solve the problems of the human race.
- Calvin Coolidge

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More on Positive Thinking

July 5th, 2010

“I am the greatest, I said that even before I knew I was. “

“I figured that if I said it enough, I would convince the world that I really was the greatest.”

“It’s the repetition of affirmations that leads to belief. And once that belief becomes a deep conviction, things begin to happen.”

“It’s lack of faith that makes people afraid of meeting challenges, and I believed in myself.”

“What keeps me going is goals.”

Who are the above quotes from…? The master of positive thinking and confidence….Muhammad Ali!

He understood what many great athletes do…your thoughts become your reality! You must direct your mental energy towards positive thinking, goals and vision.

One of my favorite quotes is “Energy flows where attention goes.” (James Arthur Ray) This defines the idea that our thoughts become reality.  It is simple! If you focus on what you do wrong all the time and how much you suck…the result is you will keep doing those things wrong and find yourself not improving or achieving your potential.  If you focus on your dream, your vision, your strengths, making improvements and your potential…chances are you will achieve what you set out to!

Muhammad Ali knew that if he could believe in himself he could achieve amazing things! And he did!

There are subtle shifts in thinking that can led to confidence and positive self-image.  Confidence and a belief in one’s self can result in success and performing at your peak.

Personal Example…

I would hear from many people that I need to move my head more when I am in the ring.  I internalized that and would tell myself I suck at head movement and defense.  I am just powerful and fast.  While I was confident that I was powerful and fast, my confidence in my movement and defense was going nowhere fast.  I was in this mindset that I just wasn’t good at those things and never would be.  So forced by injury to work on other things…head movement and defense…I actually started to improve in those areas.  My mindset changed too! I stopped thinking I suck at and it would take forever to improve and started to simply practice and focus on improvement.  Shifting from focusing “being bad at it” to “making improvements” changed my approach and led to development of my skills and abilities.

Shifting your self-talk and mindset is where change begins.  You cannot believe you suck at something and expect to get better at it! You must start spinning your language and self-talk towards positivitiy, growth and improvement. Words hold value, meaning and power! So be mindful of the words you use and how you think.

Believing in yourself is key to success! Champions know this! We must be honest with ourselves about where at and we must deeply believe we can achieve what we envision! So take a page of out Ali’s book and start talking to yourself with conviction and don’t let others keep you from believing in yourself.  Surround yourself with people that believe in you and use words that led to greatness!

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P.M.A. is a Must

June 28th, 2010

I tend to be one of those people that is really hard on myself in all areas of my life, especially when it comes to my performance as an athlete.  Win or lose I find hundreds of was to “beat myself up” on what I did wrong, should have done and mistakes I made in competition.  After winning my finals bout in the Chicago Golden Gloves I went on and on about how bad I did and someone finally said to me, “Jess you won, celebrate!”. While this attitude of always wanting to be your best and get better is crucial to success, it is also equally crucial to have a P.M.A. (positive mental attitude) and gives yourself some kudos!

I was reminded of the destructive nature of negative self-talk when reading the blog of a fighter I know and her own personal struggle with this issue.  She wrote how she would never let anyone else talk to her or a friend they way she sometimes talks to herself.  I am sure many of us can relate to this! I know I can!

We need to work with constructive criticism in order to improve as fighters (or in any area of our lives).  We need to be honest with ourselves and see with open eyes where we need to make improvements, where are weaknesses are.  To grow we must always challenge ourselves and take steps back to move forward.  Working on our weaknesses can propel us forward as our strengths carry us onward!

And while this is all true, we MUST invite and cultivate positive self-talk into our mental game! You cannot expect to always focus on your weaknesses, talk negatively to yourself, and “beat yourself up” and get to the top of your game.  It’s just not possible. Athletes and successful people we tell you it is essential to embrace your strengths, take in your accomplishments, acknowledge your improvements and talk positively to yourself.  You gotta fill yourself up!

As we grow and test ourselves, we will confront a number or challenges and bumps in the road to learn from.  And while this will teach us what we need to work on we must always acknowledge ourselves for the risks we take and improvements we make however small they might be.  It takes mental energy to walk forward and take risks, it can brings up fears and tests what we think we know about ourselves.  Taking risks makes us doubt and lose clarity.  This is why we must gives ourselves positive self-talk! We are typically doing better than we think we are anyways! Our head gets in the way and tells us “we suck” when we are doing better than we have in the past.

So fight that inner critic that tells you to give up, you aren’t good enough, you aren’t making improvements and you always do things wrong!  Scream STOP to that voice that tries to keep you down and small.  In those moments when negativity is flooding in, take a second to acknowledge just one thing you are doing.  So maybe you sparred today and you kept making the mistake of walking into your sparring partner’s jab, acknowledge yourself for how you improved your movement.  There is always something to acknowledge in the midst of what all seems to be bad.  Sometimes you gotta dig to find it because your head wants to keep the negativity coming, so you have to dig to find that thing to acknowledge! This is no different than digging down deep in the ring to keep fighting despite exhaustion, etc.  As fighters, we dig down when we think we have nothing left and keep going…use this mentality in and out of the ring.  Use this mentality of digging deep when it comes to positive self-talk, even when you think you did everything wrong, find one thing you did right or made improvement on.  Sometimes it’s just baby steps! But you gotta acknowledge yourself for each baby step.  (think about it we wouldn’t tell a baby learning to walk “Hey you didn’t try hard enough to take one more step and make it to the chair!”, so don’t tell yourself stuff that will bring you down)

There is a fine line between taking inventory of your strengths and weaknesses and “beating yourself up”.  We need to work on things when we make mistakes and we need to give ourselves credit where credit is due! So be aware of this difference and work on your P.M.A. everyday!

Your task…

Write down 5 things you can acknowledge yourself for daily for a week.  Look back on this list at the end of the week and enjoy that “ah ha” moment of all that you do that is worth giving credit to! This can make a huge impact on your overall self-image and self-confidence! Whether you think this is cheesy or not, just do it!

Example:

1.  Today I acknowledge myself for ________________________________. (fill in the blank)

Remember if you “beat yourself up” you won’t get anywhere, you will forget that you even took a risk/moved forward, and you will not internalize the growth you did make.  Repeated negative self-talk becomes more than just words, you begin to ingrain this mentality into your being, your sense of self and your way of thinking.  So be real with yourself and work on your weaknesses AND acknowledge your improvements!

“Watch your thoughts, for they become words.
Watch your words, for they become actions.
Watch your actions, for they become habits.
Watch your habits, for they become character.
Watch your character, for it becomes your destiny.”

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